The blue ties that bind…

In case you don’t live in Oz, there has been a sad political soap opera this week involving our PM and men in blue ties. It started with a pre-recorded (no media allowed) PowerPoint presentation by the PM (that’s a lot of P’s) to an audience of her female supporters. The session was recorded, edited and then distributed to the media. In her delivery the PM attacked men in blue ties. Then ‘coincidentally” the next day a digital image of an (completely offensive) alleged menu from a Liberal party fundraiser appeared (3 months after it had been created). Joh Bjelke Petersen called this tactic “feeding the chooks…” – and journalists and politicians pecked each other to death over the story.

The media frenzy over the alleged menu was a reflection of the declining professionalism in publishing since the interweb became such a powerful channel. The reporting was more demonstrative of the amateurs who publish online, than the publishing industry that employs trained journalists who supposedly investigate the facts before publishing. Just because an image of the alleged menu was tweeted, journalists and the general populace believed it to be true. Nobody checked if the menu was printed en masse and distributed, or why it was suddenly being leaked 3 months after it had been created. The ‘investigation’ was left out of the process of investigative journalism.

And now the truth has emerged. The alleged menu was never distributed, it was just an appalling bad-taste joke that was photographed and posted to a social media site. So now the whole sorry saga can hopefully be removed from the journalistic dining table, so to speak and we can get on with things economic.

blue ties hockey

Which brings me again to blue ties. I don’t own a tie. Well I did buy one a few years ago because a bunch of horse racing types wouldn’t let me watch equine run around a paddock without one. So I put it on to get into the track, then took it off to stay and watch. I’m not sure where it is now?

In one moment of genius though, our PM has saved a rapidly declining niche industry – the necktie industry. Particularly the blue necktie industry. If you believe the letters to the editors and talkback radio, thousands are going to buy blue neckties to wear on polling day in September. What a boost for the local economy at a time when so many are struggling. Just like those umbrella salespeople who suddenly appear on the sidewalk when it starts raining, I suspect we’re going to see a surge in random necktie salespeople on our sidewalks. If you Google ‘men in blue ties’, you’ll see that support groups are emerging.

men in blue ties

I’ve never understood the purpose of the tie – how does it help one do their work? Does it help you think more strategically? I noticed the world’s richect bloke – Bill Gates – didn’t wear one when interviewed in Oz last week. He succeeded without a necktie, so why don’t we do as he does? Although I did find a grainy shot taken of Bill who felt obliged to wear a tie when meeting another bloke who likes to wear blue ties – see below.

Bill gates

Ties demonstrate that most men are either colour blind, or have no fashion sense. And this was reinforced yesterday by the said bloke (above), who was on his own campaign trail wearing a blue tie. Kev said his wife or daughter pick and pack his ties for him as he has no fashion sense – sounds like he lives a nice throwback to the 1950’s. I wonder if they get his pipe and slippers too? Careful, he could be called the “M” word.


blue ties matheson

But I digress. I think the PM may be onto something here. She could make a weekly statement (there’s 14 more weeks until the election) about “men in <insert clothing item>” and help revive struggling businesses. What a boon for the economy. For example, “Beware men in G-strings…” could revitalise the male G-string category. Or what about the old stubbies, how many men wear those now? “I declare men in stubbies….” the PM could announce, and before you know it the Parliament would be full of blokes wearing that Ozzie icon. Though probably not in Winter.

Hmm, maybe “Men in flannelette shirts…” would be more appropriate for Winter. We could revitalise “Bogan Style” – with blue ties! Lowes would have a field day. This is big folks. The PM just has to make an announcement and get it tweeted. Journalists will migrate the announcement to the broadcast media, where most people still get their news. A frenzy will ensue and sales will increase.

I’m off to find some shekels to buy shares in Lowes – could be a nice little earner. Better get dressed though. Do I need to wear a tie?


  1. While Labor PM Gillard is worried about some menu or the colour of a tie, we have bodies floating in the ocean ,more boat arriving every day,national debt increasing and more people out of work

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